March 4, 2017
When I was a young boy, I grew some gourds in glass jars. Here’s what I learned.
March 4, 2017
January 8, 2017
January 2, 2017
What drives me crazy about psychotherapy is the belief that clients need to be labeled and fixed. In fact, no one is broken.
A caterpillar isn’t flawed with a narcissistic personality disorder because it believes it’s going to be a butterfly. A tadpole doesn’t have a pervasive developmental disorder because it’s not yet a frog.
The only thing that is wrong is what we’ve been taught to think and believe about ourselves that stops us from being our true selves.
I remembered a time when my grandmother had a small garden. In one section, she grew gourds. I once placed a growing gourd inside a jelly jar. As it grew, it took on the shape of the jar. I came to realize that we are like gourds placed in a jelly jar of life. We have adapted and accommodated to our life’s circumstances.
In all my years as a therapist, I learned that when I really got to know clients, I understood why they thought and acted the way they did. If I had been placed in their jelly jar of experiences, given the same conditions and genetics, I would have been in the same shape.
Each client taught me something about myself and my own glass walls. I consistently encouraged my clients to follow this message: accept yourself, express yourself, forgive yourself, and, most importantly, love yourself. Those elements have become the critical ingredients for healing in my life and in the lives of my clients.
Psychotherapy can drive you crazy with labels, judgments, and an endless exploration of the past. However, when you embrace acceptance, self-expression, forgiveness, and love, you step on the road to sanity and inner peace.
P.S. Click the link below to listen to a recording of Marie Elisa’s radio show, “Everyday Angels,” where I expose some of the crazy thinking of psychotherapy and offer seven steps toward sanity and inner peace.
October 5, 2016
Reignite your life through three R’s: Remove thoughts that douse your passion; Retrain your mind; and Reignite your life with vision and purpose.
January 19, 2016
Join me on a radio interview with Doug Gefeller on The Coaching Perspective. I talk about the world of writing and show you how to use it as a medium for self-expression and deeper connection with yourself and others. When you write naked, others will notice!
March 31, 2015
Over the years as a therapist, writer, and life coach, I have found that clients yearned to be true to themselves, express themselves, and share their heartfelt ideas. In other words, they wanted to use their voice.
Our voice is how we tell the world who we are. When we use our voice, we are uninhibited and curious about the world. We eagerly share whatever is on our mind. Unfortunately, our upbringing and culture often taught us to censor our voices and stop talking about what was going on within.
I grew up in a household where children should be seen but not heard. My own personal growth has been to find my voice and to help others find their voice. Interestingly, I have a range of voices. I can access my inner child’s voice, my adolescent rebel’s voice, my higher wisdom voice, my lover’s voice, or my writer’s voice.
Here are four simple steps to help you find your voice.
1. Create a safe space where you feel accepted without judgment. Journaling provides the opportunity to write and see what you’re thinking and feeling. Writing for the past 30 years has helped me discover my voice. A coach, therapist, or support group offers a non-judgmental audience for you to practice expressing yourself and being heard.
2. Identify your voice patterns so that you become aware of how you express yourself to the world. When you speak, notice when you become inhibited, combative, or open and honest. Notice also how you express your feelings, describe your needs, and make requests.
3. Ask three simple but powerful questions: 1) What am I feeling? Notice where you hold emotions in your body. 2) What do I need to say? Such as a thought, emotion, or unexpressed need or desire. 3) How can I say it? Using “I” statements establishes a strong voice.
4. Practice using your voice. Join a Toastmaster club to develop speaking skills and practice self-expression and vocal variety in a supportive environment. Honestly share more of yourself with friends.
I encourage you to find your voice, speak with heart and soul, and keep giving you until YOU is what the world wants. The world is waiting for your words!