Aging is a curriculum we all must take. Yet we often resist the lessons, trying to stay young even though we’re getting older every day. Actress Bette Davis once said, “Old age is not for sissies.” That may be true, but the curriculum of aging offers incredible life lessons. Here are my top ten.
We can’t predict when we’ll face a health challenge, have difficulty remembering a name, or encounter another reminder that we’re getting older. Aging is inevitable, just like the changing seasons. Each day brings surprises. Some bring joy, like a phone call or text from a friend or grandchild—or even a good night’s sleep. Others bring pain, like an aching joint or difficult medical news.
As we get older, we may be unable to continue activities that once brought us joy, like surfing or tennis. However, we can appreciate what we can still do, like walking with friends, and we can develop new hobbies and activities, such as pickleball or bridge. When we accept our frailties, we can become more accepting of the frailties of others. Acceptance also means welcoming the love and support from family and friends.
With aging comes loss—of dreams that won’t be realized, of physical abilities, and of friends and loved ones who die. Loss tenderizes us to life and deepens our connection to our emotions. As we age, we are meant to grieve because just as we say hello to life’s experiences, we must also learn to say goodbye.
We can recognize the gifts that come from past mistakes and failures. That wisdom helps us make better choices today. We can recognize how people and circumstances offer us opportunities to grow and evolve. Wisdom reminds us that it’s okay to ask for and receive help.
Aging is not a time for isolation. Life lessons are meant to be shared with family, friends, and others in our community. Participating in groups where people openly talk about the aging process gives us opportunities to both receive and offer compassion, support, and love. We’re not meant to travel this road alone.
Getting old means that we have earned the right to say, “What the hell, I’m standing up for myself.” That attitude can make us less reluctant to speak up, especially when dealing with someone in authority, like a doctor. Age can give us the courage to ask questions, challenge assumptions, and advocate for what we need. If we don’t stand up for ourselves now, then when will we?
If not now, then when? We can do something fun or pleasurable every day. It may be as simple as taking a walk, enjoying a scrumptious meal, laughing with friends, or creating an intimate moment with someone we love. We can still enjoy sensual and sexual pleasure—with less pressure to rush to the finish line!
Gratitude is worth cultivating because there will be days when we won’t feel particularly grateful, especially when we’re struggling with our health. Yet we can still be grateful that we can see a sunset, hear music, taste wonderful food, smell the roses, and feel the touch of someone we love. Being grateful for each moment makes each moment precious.
With age comes the realization that our time is limited. That awareness can create a sense of urgency about how we want to spend the rest of our lives. We can create a bucket list of experiences we still want to have, relationships we want to deepen, and contributions we want to make. We can ask ourselves, “How do I want to be remembered?” Then we can use the time we have left to create a life—and a legacy—worth remembering.
Since our time on Earth will someday end, it becomes increasingly important to develop and deepen a spiritual relationship. A connection with our Creator can provide inner peace as we navigate the final chapters of our lives.
Since today is the youngest you’ll ever be, don’t wait until you’re older to embrace the lessons of aging. A life well lived isn’t measured by how long we remain young, but by the choices we make to grow wiser, love deeply, and live fully.
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