I arrived early at the car repair place so that my car could be serviced. There was a TV in the waiting room, but it wasn’t on. Great, I thought because I could get some writing done. Then a 70-year-old man who was also getting his car serviced walked into the waiting room. He spotted the TV and immediately turned it on. I didn’t want to watch the weather channel; I wanted to write in my journal. Fortunately, the man was called out of the waiting room to the counter. I immediately made an executive decision—I turned off the TV!

Settling back down to peace and quiet, I began journaling. Then the man returned. He glared at the blank TV then at me. Before he could pick up the remote, I told him that when I had moved to California 10 years ago, I decided against having a TV. It opened up my life because I turn to books and other people for stimulation. I got up out of my chair and offered my hand, “Hi, my name’s Leonard.”

After the introduction, Jim and I became the best of friends as we shared our views about politics, talked about our children, shared stories about how our grandparents migrated from Europe, talked about the changes we witnessed in our lives, and on and on it went—until Jim was called to retrieve his car.

When he left, I pondered our interaction. If he hadn’t turned on the TV, and if I hadn’t turned it off, we might never have had a connecting conversation. I’m grateful I reached out and offered a hand.

Reaching out and extending a hand to a stranger can bring unexpected rewards.

When I was a young boy, I grew some gourds in glass jars. Here’s what I learned.

When you understand the biology of love and the language of love, you can get more love in your life.

What drives me crazy about psychotherapy is the belief that clients need to be labeled and fixed. In fact, no one is broken.

A caterpillar isn’t flawed with a narcissistic personality disorder because it believes it’s going to be a butterfly. A tadpole doesn’t have a pervasive developmental disorder because it’s not yet a frog.

The only thing that is wrong is what we’ve been taught to think and believe about ourselves that stops us from being our true selves.

I remembered a time when my grandmother had a small garden. In one section, she grew gourds. I once placed a growing gourd inside a jelly jar. As it grew, it took on the shape of the jar. I came to realize that we are like gourds placed in a jelly jar of life. We have adapted and accommodated to our life’s circumstances.

In all my years as a therapist, I learned that when I really got to know clients, I understood why they thought and acted the way they did. If I had been placed in their jelly jar of experiences, given the same conditions and genetics, I would have been in the same shape.

Each client taught me something about myself and my own glass walls. I consistently encouraged my clients to follow this message: accept yourself, express yourself, forgive yourself, and, most importantly, love yourself. Those elements have become the critical ingredients for healing in my life and in the lives of my clients.

Psychotherapy can drive you crazy with labels, judgments, and an endless exploration of the past. However, when you embrace acceptance, self-expression, forgiveness, and love, you step on the road to sanity and inner peace.

Welcome Home!

Leonard

P.S. Click the link below to listen to a recording of Marie Elisa’s radio show, “Everyday Angels,” where I expose some of the crazy thinking of psychotherapy and offer seven steps toward sanity and inner peace.

Everyday Angels Radio show

Reignite your life through three R’s: Remove thoughts that douse your passion; Retrain your mind; and Reignite your life with vision and purpose.

Join me on a radio interview with Doug Gefeller on The Coaching Perspective. I talk about the world of writing and show you how to use it as a medium for self-expression and deeper connection with yourself and others. When you write naked, others will notice!