Being free of judgment may bring you peace. It may also trigger fearful, polarizing thoughts because the ego wants to be in control. Our beliefs dictate how we should, and should not, think, act, or feel.

My parents were highly critical and judgmental. As a child, I unknowingly downloaded their viral programs into my mental computer. Though I now run my anti-viral software, I still find my inner critic popping up to remind me that life is a struggle or that I’m not good enough.

Judgment is the tool that the ego uses to create walls of separation. Our identities are forged out of judgments that have been handed down, like old clothes. Add emotions to the beliefs and those clothes get super-glued to the skin. After awhile, we wear our judgments without much thought until someone points them out. Ouch!

We can shift away from our judgments when we act as a witness, meaning that we remain present with whatever is, without judging whether it is right or wrong. Witnessing helps us release our attachment to opinions and thoughts that create separateness from others. We can then move from restriction to curiosity, openness, and expansion. From that place, we can notice our senses, feel our emotions, and recognize our thoughts.

Try practicing the art of witnessing by answering three questions:

1. How are you judging yourself now?
2. When you judge yourself, what physical sensations do you have?
3. What’s it like to not judge yourself?

The questions ask us to turn inward and notice what’s going on. We may be telling ourselves to get busy, to struggle, or to slow down. When we judge, we often feel physical tension, such as muscles contracting in our shoulders, chest, or stomach. Without judgment, we have a greater acceptance and appreciation of who we are. That brings lightness, relief, and compassion.

As you become your own witness, you create the space for love and inner peace.

Welcome Home.
Leonard

CLICK ON YOUTUBE AND WATCH THE DOLPHINS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAtDhdqKJps

I recently returned from a memorable trip to Australia. A highlight was the time my daughter, Melissa, and I swam with the dolphins. With only 15 places around the world to swim with wild dolphins, the town of Forster, a 3 ½ hour drive north of Sydney, offered a pristine location to say “G’day” to Flipper and friends.

We sailed with 12 other adventurers on a 34-foot catamaran to find a pod of wild dolphins frolicking in the open ocean. Donning wetsuit, snorkel and mask, we each took turns in the water.

The procedure was simple: jump in, grab the rope extending from the bow, pull myself forward, and, with left hand hanging onto the rope and left foot resting in a loop, exhale through the snorkel while emitting a strange sound, “Whoooooo, whooooooo.”

The skipper informed us that dolphins weren’t there to entertain us; we were there to entertain them. So if we wanted them to swim under and around us, we needed to entertain them with high-pitched noises. Sure enough, the curiosity seekers swarmed nearby. I felt like I was the main attraction, performing in a sea world to amuse the mammals.

The down under dolphins probably said, “A strange bloke with a tube stuck out of his mouth is making a bloody racket. Let’s check him out.”

I enjoyed getting checked out. The sleek creatures made me realize how beautifully attuned they were to their environment. They were always curious, played like little children with apparently little conflict, consciously breathed, and appeared to be forever smiling. I wanted to be more like them!!

If you ever find yourself overwhelmed with stress or struggling in life, mimic a dolphin. Consciously breathe, smile often, bring out your inner child, be curious, have fun, and swim with a friend.

If you’re ever interested in visiting Australia on a spiritual odyssey, let me know. I’m planning a future tour to swim with the dolphins.

G’day and Welcome Home!

Leonard

Brrrrr! Catch the snowstorm in a Southern California desert.

Click youtube link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Tz5kglEogg

I just returned from a weekend in the high desert in Southern California. I planned to enjoy the rejuvenating waters of a hot mineral spring and witness the desert flowers blooming this time of the year. Sometimes the best laid intentions can get turned upside down – especially during a storm.

The storm turned out to be a thick blanket of snow surrounding the area of Warner Springs where hot sulfur baths heat the body at 104 degrees. The dramatic shift in weather made me realize that unexpected changes can occur in an instant. Even the trees had difficulty adjusting as a number of branches cracked under the weight of the accumulating snow.

The sudden climactic change made me contemplate the very nature of change. I tend to organize my life by setting intentions and expectations to complete projects, further my career, maintain relationships, achieve optimum health, and establish financial security. However, the universe doesn’t always work according to my plans. It relishes surprises such as snow in the desert. While I personally don’t like the cold, I was offered an opportunity to melt my perspective.

One thing is for certain. We will all experience unexpected changes at some time or another. They may be mild relational rifts such as those that occur with couples and families or they may be severe life-threatening challenges or devastating financial crises. Though the disruptions may wrench us out of our comfort zones, they can teach us important life-altering lessons and help us grow as human beings.

Fortunately, when faced with any change, we can choose our responses. We can complain about snow or we can bundle up and admire a winter fairyland.

So when life hands you a cold, bone-chilling incident, practice these tips to warm up and :

• Witness the change as an unfolding process. After all, each day offers two stark contrasts of daylight and nightfall. You can recoil at change or be inspired by the unfolding process.

• Look for the lessons and the opportunities for growth. Within every disruption lies a seed of growth. For example, a life-threatening illness can prompt family members to relate deeply and lovingly toward one another.

• Choose your response. If you look at change with soft eyes of love and compassion, you can shift a perspective and respond in an accepting, loving way. Instead of cursing at the snow, you can rejoice at the miracle of white crystals tumbling from the sky. The choice is yours.

Create a wonderful day of change. Welcome Home!

Leonard

I’ve been working on personal growth and self-awareness most of my adult life. However, to bring that awareness into relationships often makes me, well, quite unconscious!

I know I’m unconscious when I think, “Surely it’s not me that’s causing the problems!” Unfortunately, it IS me that causes problems when I blame my partner and project my feelings onto her.

I could place my relational shortcomings onto Hollywood. After all, movies create the illusion that there is a perfect partner who will make me perfectly happy. And if I’m not happy, it means I’m not with the perfect partner.

In truth, it is up to us to be the perfect partners on the dance floor of love. True love requires that we change our perspective, alter our behavior, stretch our heart, express our needs, give of ourselves, and birth a relationship.

That requires being conscious and intentional. The benefits are many: emotional bond, heartfelt connection, deep healing, and personal transformation. So why don’t we step into those relationships with ease and comfort?

Many of us witnessed unconscious parents and took on their beliefs and behavioral patterns. To overcome our conditioning and become conscious, we must not only recognize our needs and desires but also the default patterns we adopt when feeling wounded or stressed.

Personally, when I feel hurt in a relationship, I tend to withdraw, judge and become self-sufficient – not the best way to stay connected to a partner. After I realize what I’m doing, I try to return to my vision of a loving relationship. I must then cultivate within myself the desired visional behaviors, thoughts and feelings rather than expect or demand that my partner change.

This may seem as easy as watching professionals dance the Tango. Getting on the dance floor with your partner is another matter.  Here are seven quick steps to prevent your feet from getting tangled.

1.    Identify your needs, wants and desires in a relationship.

2.    Notice how you feel emotionally and physically when your needs are satisfied.

3.    Examine your sensations and feelings when your needs are not met and name your reactive behavioral pattern. (Your partner will know!)

4.    Recognize what you don’t say to your partner and how you can say it lovingly.

5.    Imagine yourself expressing needs and desires to your partner in an open, undefended, loving way.

6.    Cultivate this loving vision in a safe, non-judgmental climate where you and your partner remain open, make requests, and lovingly satisfy them.

7.    Embrace gratitude and appreciation through affirming, loving acts and statements.

While romantic love is more about “Falling in love,” a conscious, intentional relationship is about “Rising toward love.”

We can then dance the Tango with unabashed passion!